i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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