i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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