Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
