So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
