her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
that may or may not have been my penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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