well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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