Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
