i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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