well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
