This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
