This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
