I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
