I hate your face
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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