dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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