You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
These tits shall not be calmed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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