home. puking in laundry basket.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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