her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
