butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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