dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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