So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
