I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize