I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
