is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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