He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
