Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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