..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
