All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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