the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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