i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
