It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
