No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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