I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
