Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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