oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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