what day is it and did you see me today?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Shame - the story of my life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
