You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
