Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
