thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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