First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
