billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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