Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Never underestimate the power of titties
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
