i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I deserve this hangover.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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