when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
