I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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