I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
