Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
