He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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