we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
