ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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