put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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